My Epiphany of Genuine Connections – of Friendship, of Relationships, of Self

Originally from 10/10/2011 -- a wanzism ponderment around genuine connections

Once upon a time, I posted my ponderments on blogspot around my wanzisms (which I self-defined as “a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice stemming from the thoughts of Jawanza Barial-Lumumba in the forms of rant, verse, poetry, and/or philosophy ponderments, referencing either his observations, beliefs, and/or personal experience”). The post I reshared the most was one I shared when I was gaining a grip on my friendships and relationships (the beginning of my boundaries journey) and being more open and honest with how my social anxiety was manifesting.

All real relationships, friendships, connections go through hardships and challenges (even your relationship with yourself).

I often posted this in heightened times of social stress, and in December 2025, I am less in the social anxiety and more in juggling some of the disconnection and loneliness that comes with the holidays. And, with most aware that I’ll be shifting homes in the coming years, just sitting with friendships and connections and continuing my journey of reflecting where I’ve been to where I am heading.

The genuine aspect of any relationship (friends, family, partners, etc.) is key.

I love the opening of this piece, especially as it shifted away from fiction, left the discomfort of attempting poetry (even though I’m pairing this post with some poetry), and realized that my writing held value, in the self-exploratory way, that may even resonate with some of the philosophy I had read back in the college era of life.

So this is my relationship epiphany post from back in 2011…. (click here to read the whole post on blogspot).

There’s a simple necessity in wanting to build connections with others. Rarely does solitude strengthen an individual who is trying to find his or her place in a community, in society. And from others, they can help you learn, help you laugh, help you grow, and help you love. Others will help support you to be who you are, remind you of who you are when you’re lost and others will stand beside you in times of need, just as you will for them.

But to do such, in a healthy manner, you need to A) surround yourself with genuine friends and relationships B) understand who you are and be comfortable with yourself and C) let go of those toxic relationships with certain people and attachments that will hinder you from being you.