Misadventures in Adulting Ep 1: The Fairness Between Bros
A collection of scripts about a group of friends and their misadventures in adulthood
The Fairness Between Bros
Written by Jawanza Barial-Lumumba edited by Emily Peterson
NARRATOR
Welcome to the bachelor pad. The small, dimly lit house of bros reeks of beer, dirty dishes, peeling paint, dust-infused carpeting, a mildew-y bathroom, and the usual regrets of embracing the college lifestyle in their mid-to-late twenties. Right by the front door is an abused couch and to its left is a treasured mini-fridge. This is the home of three men in their mid-twenties: JEREMIAH, CARLOS, and ISAAC. The PBR-clock that hangs crookedly besides the front door reads 2:45am on this fateful Saturday. The loud voices of JEREMIAH and CARLOS can be heard outside, joyous and drunken.
JEREMIAH & CARLOS
WE’RE HOME!
NARRATOR
There’s an initial pause as the two enter into their nightly race of who can locate their keys first and open up.
JEREMIAH
(Announcer voice)
Annnnnd the muthafuckin keyfind winner is…. ME! JEREMIAH! FOR THE MUTHAFUCKIN WIN!
NARRATOR
JEREMIAH bursts through the door first, followed by the stumbling bumbles of CARLOS. They drunkenly teeter back and forth before engaging in an epic, jumping high five, followed-up by a chest bump that nearly knocks CARLOS over, and then concluding with the deepest of conversations.
CARLOS
(very loudly)
Oh man!! Jer: that party was hella hardy!!
NARRATOR
CARLOS stumbles over to the mini-fridge, revealing many, many beers. All the beers. He grabs one for him and tosses the other to JEREMIAH.
JEREMIAH
Bro-los, it was so very amazingly amazing, my bro. I stand here, before you, fuckin’ amazed, man! Well, I’m sitting right now, but whatever, cause I’m still fucking amaaaazed. Plus, there were hella girls and… yeah, hella girls. What more would we have needed?
NARRATOR
They pause for a moment, with looks of grave confusion and confoundedness spread across their drunken faces before shouting:
JEREMIAH & CARLOS
SHOTS! (They burst into a drunken uproar of laughter. When the laughter subsides:)
NARRATOR
They stumble toward the couch and they both carefully sit down on it.
