Beneath the Surface
Reshared from crosscurrents: Spring 2009: Melvin, who often thinks one thing and says the other, who suddenly loses his ability to filter what he choices to say...
As a treat, ahead of the website launch, I wanted to share a piece previously published in college! Now, this this is my second piece that was published by crosscurrents, which is the name of the University of Puget Sound Literature & Arts Journal (my alma mater). While I attended UPS, I majored in English and supported this literary journal. The first piece I wrote is in one of the entries that is not currently available, but in my senior year, I had one of my short stories from my Advance Fiction class get released called Beneath the Surface (this link will bring you to the crosscurrents: spring 2009 edition, and you can read this story on page 25 of the downable document).
I wrote several creative pieces during my undergraduate time, some of which you will see surface on this Substack (such as the lengthy short story To Learn the Truth and even the first episode of the Misadventures in Adulting was written in the collegiate era). Like To Learn the Truth, exploring/playing with different narrative styles to further informed stories I wrote in my creative writing classes, and Beneath the Surface was a great exploration informed by the unreliable narrative class I took (which inspired framing for the unreliable narrator prompt).
The story opens with a speedily written journal entry, riddled with typos, and with lines stricken out:
I hope know you will never read this. It is with that declaration that I beam with reassurance, our professor not only swore that these letters would not reach there intended audience, but because we are required to handwrite all of our journal entries in pen he has promised not to read anything we have crossed out about this obviously pointless exercise, its a requirement to cross anything out that we dont want read.
The story continues in a similar format (with less typos) in order to explore the dynamics of a character pulled between what he thinks versus what he chooses to say, and how that shows up with his bestfriend, in the workplace, and with his crush—until he loses his inability to filter what he says.
In revisiting the story and rereading it later on in life, the story also seems to explore anxiety (though not named by the characters) and the fear the lack of filtering stirs. And, in rereading the story, which is published as it is, I always acknowledge that there’s a hurtful fatphobic remark towards the end of the piece that I do not support or find funny, however it is in both editions of the piece (a second edition of this same story can be read in the 4th issue of the Shahrazad Press, but want to include that warning/disclaimer for others ahead of reading.